


Planning

by JaggedCliffs



Series: None of This Was Supposed to Happen [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brother Feels, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:57:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaggedCliffs/pseuds/JaggedCliffs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor knew Loki wanted to kill him. Thor decided to oblige his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Planning

Loki wanted to kill Thor. All the nine realms knew it. Midgard knew it especially well, since the trickster god's anger shattered their cities whenever he deigned to visit. It was so well know that Loki may as well have shouted it from the mountain tops.

Loki wanted Thor dead. However, Thor wondered, if Loki wanted him dead, them why did he still live?

 

They had done this dance before. Always fighting, the two of them. Sometimes with allies. More often alone. This time was one of the latter.

It was storming, though not at Thor's behest. High atop a building they fought on the slick concrete, in the city the Avengers seemed to favour. Mjolnir smashed against Loki's most recent weapons, another spear in one hand and a dagger in the other. The two had little room to fight, as much of the building's roof was occupied by a small, shed-like structure. But the two had fought in more precarious of places, both side-by-side and pitted against the other.

As always, Thor was holding back. He would never strike a killing blow against his brother. Loki though...Thor knew Loki believed he was trying his utmost to kill Thor. Though as of yet, no dagger nor spear had fatally pierce Thor's side.

Thor _tired_ of this dance. Of Loki's never-ending cycle of madness, defeat, and imprisonment, which only served to drive him further into madness. Of the destruction he wrought in that hate and insanity, and of the mortals suffering for his wrath.

Maybe it was time to stop.

For a moment the two were parted, Thor having launched himself forward, Loki twisting out of the way and stepping back. In that breath of separation, facing each other in the gloom, all was still except for the rain falling between them.

Then Thor dropped his hammer.

The sound of uru meeting stone could be heard clearly even through the din of the storm. As the sharp crack echoed through the air, rivalling the noise of the thunder in the distance, Loki froze, eyes widening and spear halted mid-swing. He looked down at Mjolnir and the spiderweb of cracks beneath her, before returning his gaze to Thor's face.

“What are you doing?” Loki shouted, bringing his weapons in defensively. Then surprise turned to glee as a wild grin spread across his face. “Has the mighty Thor given up already? Forfeited this battle as mine?” He laughed, a high cackling that was carried away by the wind.

At first Thor didn't answer. He spread his hands away from his sides, non-threatening, and took a step forward. Loki tensed, his laugh dying out but grin still present, eyes flickering from Thor's face to his hands to his fallen hammer. Thinking and assessing and planning. Mind flickering through possibilities.

“Well, Thor? Have you forsaken your mortal comrades?” Loki taunted, gesturing to the city below. The Avengers were somewhere down there, valiantly fighting one of Loki's current allies. One his friends could defeat without Thor's help. Loki was more important.

Loki was always more important.

Thor took another careful step forward, just in reach of Loki's spear. “I wish you to stop, Loki. So I'm giving you what you want.”

Loki let out a surprised laugh. “You're giving me Midgard, then? Or Asgard? The whole nine realms? A lovely sentiment Thor, but those are hardly yours to give.”

“No.” Thor stared into his brother's eyes, unflinching. “I'm giving you my life.”

Finally, Loki's smile faltered. His rain-slicked spear slipped a few inches in his slackened grip. “You're-You what?” For one the few times in Thor's memory, Loki was at a loss for words.

“You have attempted to kill me since I was powerless on Midgard. You have claimed time and time again that you want me dead, by your hand.” Thor took one more step forward. “So take my life. If it would satisfy your madness at last.”

A choked sound came from Loki's throat, eyes wide and shock clear even through the rain. “I - you – no,” he stuttered, shaking his head in short lurching motions, never taking his eyes off Thor. “No,” Loki repeated shakily then swallowed, tightening his grip on his spear. “This isn't - you're lying. This is trick,” he snarled, stepping back and brandishing his spear. “Your pet mortals are here, aren't they? Lying in wait until I strike, and then attacking whilst I'm distracted.”

“You're the one who favours tricks, Loki.” Even to his own ears, Thor sounded weary.

“But not the only one. Whose idea was this? Stark's? The Widow's?” Loki's smile returned. A triumphant light shone in Loki's eyes, and Thor could nearly see his brother's thoughts flitting through possibilities, concocting a story that made sense in his brother's suspicious mind. “Yes, it was Romanov's idea, wasn't it?” he hissed. “The liar and the trickster. Scheming to trap me in a elaborate web. What other threads has she spun around me? Mayhap she had Stark smith a shield against my weapon when I lay the killing blow? Or maybe she-”

“This was my idea.” Thor interrupted Loki's ranting. “No other is here.” His voice was low and resigned, barely rising above the rumbling of thunder in the distance. With a speed at odds with his tone, Thor stepped forward and grabbed Loki's wrists. Perhaps it was because if Thor's calm, or Loki's surprise, that Loki did not move, only stared as Thor twisted both dagger and spear until the points lay against Thor's chest. Against his heart. “But the Avengers will not be preoccupied for long. If you wish to enact your vengeance, you must do so before they find us.”

Loki's hands were shaking. Through his grip, Thor could feel the movement, though the weapons remained steady against his armour. “You – stop _lying_ , Thor.” His voice shook as much as his hands, lacking the certainty of his earlier accusations. His eyes never left Thor's face, searching for something, Thor wasn't sure what.

Thor hoped it was the conviction his brother lacked.

“Kill me, Loki. Kill me, and be at peace. Spare Midgard and Asgard your fury, once you have what you want.” The words echoed the ones all those years ago, as Thor faced down the Destroyer. But now there was no armoured puppet for Loki to hide behind, to enact his will a realm away so Loki wouldn't have to face the consequence of his actions. No hammer to bring Thor back his life and strength if Loki chose as he did before.

And yet Thor felt at peace.

He wondered if it showed in his eyes, or if there was something else that caused Loki to draw back, tugging at Thor's grasp. “Stop it, Thor. Stop it,” he pleaded, fear in his voice and his eyes. The dagger and spear scraped against Thor's armour as Loki pulled. “The Allfather won't be able to bring you back.” And there wasn't just fear in Loki's voice anymore, but also wonder and something else. Something Thor wanted to be grief, but he knew better than to hope.

“No. He will not. Neither will Mjolnir.” Letting go of Loki's wrists Thor moved his hands to his brother's shoulders, one hand inches away from cradling Loki's neck, as Thor had done countless times before (even after Loki fell). “I cannot break out of a glass cage as it falls. I cannot call upon lightening to drive you back. And you, Loki,” he shook his brother's shoulders, finally moving his left hand to the back of Loki's neck, “you cannot use a dagger too small to be naught but a distraction.”

In a bright flash of lightening far off, Thor saw the moment Loki's fear turned to anger. Baring his teeth, Loki brought the body of spear against Thor's chest and used it shove Thor against the stone structure atop the building. The push wasn't hard enough to hurt, but Loki kept pressure against his spear, preventing Thor from moving. “These could be your final moments, and you would name me a coward?” Loki snarled. His arm holding the spear was bent, his body close enough that Thor could feel Loki's breath on his face.

And Thor did not move, did not fight, did not even raise his voice as he said, “No, I want you do to as you claimed you have wanted. What you've been trying to do for years.” _And failed_ , went unsaid, but from the fury in Loki's eyes, he heard it anyway. If reason no longer worked on Loki (and it hadn't, not since Thor was banished, from before when _Loki's_ reason, _Loki's_ futile but persistent attempts to persuade Thor from his current path hadn't worked), then Thor would try anger. “You could have taken my life years ago, you could have tricked me and stabbed me in the back, and yet you have not-”

With another snarl, Loki brought his dagger against Thor's throat. It pressed against the skin, the edge not quite breaching skin. There was a crazed look in Loki eyes, like there had been when Thor first set down his hammer. But in the place of triumph, there was rage. “I could kill you right now. Slit your throat,” he bit out, low and angry.

“You could.” The dagger scraped along his skin, scratching but not drawing blood.

“No one could stop me.”

“Aye, Loki.”

“You would be _dead_ , gone at last and out of my way and I would be-” Loki stopped, mouth working, but no words coming out. “I would be-” he repeated, then cut off again without a sound.

Thor thought he could heard the next word anyway.

_Alone._

Because Loki no longer had anyone, apart from Thor. Asgard, and by extension Mother and Father, was barred from Loki, unless he wished to see them from inside a cell. His allies were not friends, just tools for Loki's latest scheme. And those allies probably saw Loki in the same way, albeit with more caution and wariness if they were mortals.

Because even when they met on the battlefield, Thor always hoped for the best from his brother, though expected the worst. And when his hopes were dashed (but not all of his expectations fulfilled), Thor would be disappointed and hurt and furious. And he would try again. And again. And again. Always reasoning with his brother first before the fight. Always reaching out to hold Loki, not to hurt him, but to just _be_ with him. And sometimes, like atop that Midgardian mountain, meeting after Thor first knew his brother to live, Loki would let him.

Thor could see the fear returning to Loki's eyes. For a moment the pressure of the spear on his chest eased.

Then Loki's lips curled into a sneer.

“I would be _free_.” A rictus of grin spread across Loki's face. “Free to _rule_. Free to live without your constant interference in my plans, of you bleating ' _brother_ ' every time we meet, as if it still _means_ something.” The bared teeth were clenched an inch from Thor's own mouth. “Free from any more comparisons between the bright, _worthy_ prince and his villainous brother, from _still_ being the _second son_.”

There was sharp pain as the blade bit into Thor's skin, and Thor felt a warm trickle join the cool rain on his throat. “Free to live without you always _there._ Free of your _damned shadow._ ”

“Then do it, Loki.” Thor spoke with the calm of still waters after a storm. And with care, as to not to slice his neck open any further. If he was to die, he would rather it be quick. “If you prefer life without me, then kill me.”

Loki smiled. His eyes met Thor's, mad and wild and _happy_ , and the pressure on the blade increased. More warmth spread down Thor's neck, dripping onto his armour. Loki's hand shook, cold and trembling against Thor's skin. But the dagger remained steady, neither cutting deeper nor withdrawing. Thor's stared at his brother, unflinching, and waited. He watched as Loki gritted his teeth and the tremors stopped.

And then started again.

He watched as Loki's eyes left his to instead stare at the dagger, glaring at it as if it were the blade's fault it did not move. A hiss bordering on a growl escaped Loki's throat and the shaking spread across his body. As if the dagger was as heavy as Mjolnir.

Perhaps it was, in his brother's hands.

Loki's gaze rolled back up to meet Thor's, his eyes afraid and loathing and tired and _pleading_ , as if asking Thor to move, to make this decision for him.

Thor stared back.

He did not think the wetness on Loki's face was solely rain anymore.

Loki closed his eyes.

And the blade was no longer at Thor's neck.

It was in his shoulder.

Thor gasped, instinctively reaching for the dagger, forgetting the weight on his chest. Except that weight was gone, since the spear was no longer holding him back. It was on the ground in front of Loki. His brother was backing up, eyes wide and staring, body trembling.

Then, without any glimmering gold or blatant show of magic, Loki was gone.

Leaving Thor alone with a blade in his shoulder, a spear at his feet, and a trickle of blood down his neck being washed away in the dying rain as the storm blew off.


End file.
